Monday, October 14, 2013

There Are Two Kinds (Types) of People Quotations

There are two types or kinds of people quotes:  (many are anonymous and some are mine)   This list will be expanded periodically.
  • There are two types of people:  Women who are obsessed with shoes, and men.
  • There are two types of people:  Human-like monkeys,  and monkey-like humans.  
  • The two types of single people:  Those who are looking for sex, and those who are looking for love.
  • The two types of insomniacs:  Those that sleep while awake, and those who are tired all the time. 
  • There are two kinds of people:  Those that greet you in a public toilet.... 
  • There are two kinds of people: Those with modest goals,  and those that fart a lot. 
  • There are two kinds of idiot - those who know they are stupid,  and those who don't.  -Anon
  • There are basically two types of people - people who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.  -- Mark Twain
  • There are two kinds of people: Those who believe there are two kinds of people,  and those who don't   - Robert Benchley
  • There are two types of people - , good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."  - Woody Allen 
  • There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."   - Frederick L. Collins 
  • There are two types of people: lazy people and stupid people.  Stupid people are too dumb to be lazy - lazy people find creative ways to be lazy.   -- Anon
  • There are only two kinds of people   - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." - Anon  
  • There are two types of people  : those who leave a mark, and others who just leave a stain.
  • There are two types of people  : those who have the ability to assemble furniture and those who do not."  
  • There are two types of people, those that give us pleasure when they arrive and other that give you pleasure when they leave.
  • There are two types of people who complain about paying their income tax......
  • There are two kinds of people  : Those who are good with words, and those who are... er..um... thingy
  • There are two kinds of people  : those who talk about having sex, and those who are having sex.
  • There are two kinds of people:  those who get my jokes....
  • There are two kinds of people: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore..
  • There are two kinds of people: those who can stay focused, and hey, what's that...
  • There are two kinds of people: Those who can't count to two...
  • There are two types of people:  Those that eat fast,  and the hungry.
  • There are people -  people who try to be cryptic by leaving out stuff...
  • There are two types of people in the world: people who will ask directions and men.
  • There are two kinds of people:  Those who fear God,   and those who fear humans.  
  • There are two types of people:  Those who admit they pee in the shower,  and liars. 
  • You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.   - Clint Eastwood as Blondie
  • There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.  Tuco... 

Monday, October 7, 2013

Religions of the World - Shit

A random collection of religion quotes from various web sites.  
  • Sikhism:   I serve good shit
  • Satanism:   Hot, deep shit
  • Jainism:  I can handle shit..
  • Zoroastrianism:   Let there be shit
  • Agnosticism:  Shit??
  • Taoism: Shit Happens 
  • Hinduism: This shit happened before
  • Islam: If shit happens, take a Hostage
  • Buddism: If Shit happens, is it really shit?
  • 7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday
  • Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder
  • Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I deserve it
  • Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, knock, “Shit happens”
  • Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
  • Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
  • Atheism: No shit
  • T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit
  • Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit
The end.  :)