Cycle Eleven - Day 3

Wow! Cycle 11 - One more to go. Over the past six months, chemo had become a bit routine. One thing that I don't see as routine is Ellen's great support - she has been with me for all except one infusion (Lou subbed once) - now that consistency - fantastic. It seems like a hobby. And the bag thing is not just a hobby, it's a profession. I am a bag monitor. The fact that this all sucks is self evident. At least today is "disconnect" day and I won't be dragging the damn pump around the house. One more shot of "neut boost" in prep for last cycle. Wo' - last cycle no mo' chemo assuming I'm "cured". Otherwise - it gonna be super nasty. I am now wearing rubber wristbands - blue (MGH Cancer Center), purple (Power Port) and I guess I need to get the LiveStrong yellow band just for completeness. Rubber band for luck - we all need luck in life. I need a bunch of it. Don't forget George Carlin and Art Buchwald - comedic to the end. Laughing while dying - quite a skill. Sorry to bring the reader down. On an up-beat note, thanks to Suzi for the choco-chip cookies - mmmm!

Cycle Ten - Day 5

Hello all. The heat is on for Cycle 10. Hot weather I mean. Thankfully I'm not on oxaliplatin for the last four cycles (9 through 12). Having been on oxaliplatin in the winter, I know how bad the cold beverage thing can be. In winter time warm bevs are OK. But it's hard to go through a summer without a cold beverage with at least a little ice or maybe an ice cream or two. From my experience, I don't think the oxali users can do this. Very tough. Of course, we don't feel the effect of the sub 50 degree air on the hands, feet, face and throat. - yuk. Chemo is just bad - any time of the year.

For me now, it's mostly about staying hydrated. I do stagger a bit - other patients also report loss of balance. Mentally, the good weather is bad (and the bad weather is also bad). Feel like I'm losing out on summer activities. It's hard to be normal when you are are not. So you try to act normal - I think that's about the best one can do. Even when acting normal - you know it's act. e.g. when some asks - how's it going? what are you going to say - oh, I'm doing great - that would be real acting - so I tend to say "hanging in there" or "not toooo bad". These responses are somewhat more accurate. I am certainly "hanging" about right now.

Take care.